Welcome to Ireland

After our 11 day "stay" on the Emerald Isle, I now know why so many Irish settled in Tennessee- it looks almost the same (TN of course doesn't have the crazy amount of ancient structures like Ireland- but the rest is spot on).  Since anyone reading this knows me fairly well- you know that made my heart happy and sad at the same time.  Its been such a long time since I've gone to Tennessee that it made me homesick.  But enough about Tennessee, on to Ireland. 

Our first Guinness

Ireland was indeed very beautiful...and overflowing with history.  While we were there for 11 days- it wasn't enough time to really explore like I had hoped, but we managed to get more than our fair share. 

Immediately upon landing we headed to our small rental car (with a standard transmission- and did I mention a steering wheel located on the wrong side of the car?) loaded way too much luggage into it and headed West- towards Galway.  We did not have any firm plans for our trip besides our time in Dublin for the wedding- so the possibilities were endless.  Probably a good thing because my "tentative" thoughts for where and when we would go places was blown out of the water.  On the way there we had to stop for our first Guinness and at the oldest pub in Ireland- Seans Pub. 

By the time we got to Galway the sun was already setting (even though it was only a couple hundred miles) and we took the first B&B that we could find.  It turned out to be quite lovely and the owners recommended an amazing place for dinner that night.  We had one of the best meals, best wine, and a great desserts.  We called it an early night and got up the next day to head to Spiddal. 

We were heading to Spiddal because I had heard they had an amazing craft village.  On the way there our rental car died (ie the clutch went out.  We apparently weren't the first Americans to use that car)- but not before we had our first "narrow Irish road" experience.

I loved all fences built out of rock

My lovely ankle (still swollen when writing this post 2 months later)

 At the pub in Spiddal we learned how amazing Irish coffee was- and that "Black Velvets" are not something the Irish do to their Guinness.  After a disappointing shopping trip, but wonderful trip with friends and enjoying a leisurely drive around Ireland we headed back to Galway.  Once there I promptly fell and twisted my ankle.   I was pretty sure I broke it- but the x-rays I got 13 days later put a stake in that claim. 

Not one to totally let my clumsy self ruin the trip I proceeded to use Irish coffee and ice on the ankle to work my way to recovery.  Between my fall, the rain and the long time spent in hotel bar near where I fell we did not make it to our next intended spot.  We settled in at Ballyvaughn instead.  Our hotel was charming and the food was marvelous (excluding full Irish breakfasts...not my thing).  The next morning my back proceeded to go out- so you would think I would hang up the towel and call it quits.  But that is not the Spratt way.  Oh no.  I prayed, I medicated and drank some more Irish coffee.  And off we went...

The Cliffs of Mohr on my birthday

We started out heading to Aiwwee Caves.  The caves were discovered by a farmer in the 40s- but bear bones were found in the caves which means they had been around for at least 1000 years (bears have been extinct from Ireland for over 1000 years).  After the caves we headed the Cliffs of Mohr.

Guard tower at the Cliffs of Mohr

The Cliffs were amazingly beautiful.  It was like God just chopped off the end of the earth and let it crumble into the ocean.  We were really lucky that we were able to go up on the Cliffs because earlier in the morning they had been closed due to extreme winds.  It was still very windy and cold (thus me bundled up like an old lady).  Even with my back and ankle I was able to walk to the top where the guard tower was.

After the Cliffs we sat in the car with some wine, cheese and crackers we bought at the Caves.  Then we headed to Lahinch in search of a place to stay and a Chinese restaurant so my Asian birthday dinner tradition could continue. 

To be Continued in the another blog post....

Coming Out on Facebook...

Whoopsie.  That is often what I say to when I do something not as planned, that may have unintended consequences.  Usually when I say whoopsie I hear Jim take a big deep sigh...if I dare to make eye contact I usually get a glimpse of tempered frustration.  I often wonder if the longer we are married the less tempered that look will be and eventually become a look of outright disgust...

So...whoopsie.  Yes I did it again- although Jim doesn't know about this one yet and as long as he doesn't read my Facebook or my blog I doubt he will.  I think I accidentally, inadvertently "came out" on Facebook this morning.  I was reading a blog post, http://www.hannahweptsarahlaughed.com/2011/09/im-0-weeks-and-craving-a-baby/, on the newest Facebook meme (click on the word if you don't know its meaning, which I didn't- I had to look it up and thus providing the link) - the whole "I'm 10 weeks and craving peanuts" status update thing.  I, like the woman who wrote the blog, was more than a little annoyed and hurt about it.  It wasn't until my Mom, whom in addition to being well past child bearing age and several years past a hysterectomy, posted it on her status did I catch on it wasn't real.

I enjoyed this woman's blog post so much that I shared it and then my cousin replied to that "praying for you".  I immediately was pissed.  I thought- I didn't say I was infertile, I didn't say it bothered me to see those status updates I was simply posting that there are more effective ways to deliver a message and that this one was careless and thoughtless.  Then I worried that people would think we were having trouble conceiving and that Jim would be angry I put it out there for the world to see.  WHOOPSIE.  Then I thought...so? (well not "so" that Jim would be angry, but "so- who cares if the world knows we are now, technically and medically speaking, "infertile". 

For the past few months I have been tip toeing around all those well meaning folks who constantly ask "when are you going to have kids".  I've been reigning in extreme angry when my Mom and friends keep saying "relax, it will happen", "you are too uptight" or "you can't plan everything Sharon".  Actually, scientifically speaking, planning conception is incredibly easy and attainable for most.  Hell, I was "certified" to artificially inseminate cattle at the age of 15- I know exactly how easy it is to achieve pregnancy when properly planning- and besides everyone I know seems to be planning and achieving this quite easily right now. 

For weeks I've been crying during church when Pastor seems to delight in praying for all the fertile women in our church and the abundance of blessings with the babies that seem to be popping out right and left.  I've endured embarrassing tests, the breaking down of my personal medical history, Jim's medical history and our sex life (remember folks- still newlyweds).  And from what we understand it will only get worse. I've had to distance myself from pregnant friends, not because I wasn't happy for them- but because I was so incredibly unhappy for us that the thought of seeing a pregnant woman who wasn't me made me burst into tears.  Facebook is literally a minefield that I carefully navigate so as to not cause mid-day crying...but like an accident on the side of the road, I can't help looking and reading all those posts from the numerous pregnant couples online. 

But through it all the one consistent emotion I have experienced is shame.  Shame that I am unable to be a big enough person to publicly delight with my friends in their joys.  Shame that I am angry most of the time.  Shame that sometimes I get REALLY angry with God and shame that I can't even speak freely about this with most everyone I have always depended on and trusted. 

It seems that infertility is that "secret disease" that no one speaks of...and when you do its in quite hushed voices.  Almost like AIDS was, and in some way still is- "what kind of lifestyle did they live that can't have kids?".  I remember my Mom calling me once to tell me a friend I went to high school with had "finally gotten pregnant- but you know she had to have shots to get pregnant". So?  I haven't really spoken to anyone about it- and whenever I have I get simplistic answers like "oh- its just a matter of taking some medication and it will happen" or "relax" or "adopt- everyone who adopts then has kids on their own".  Really? Would you think to tell a cancer patient just to relax and then it will be ok? Do you tell them its so easy to fix? And no- I am not comparing infertility to cancer- but why is it ok for those who are sick to ask for prayers and those who can't conceive just get a "oh I'm sorry" and you never hear anything from anyone again. 

So yes- Jim and I are technically "infertile" and no- we don't know what we can do, we don't know why and most likely will never know why.  And that is ok.  Where we go from here is not up to us, but to God.  All we can ask for is your prayers and your understanding if we don't react the way you think is appropriate.  And I will offer my apologies to my friends that I just can't communicate with right now...I hope you understand. 

So...instead of posting "I'm 12 weeks and craving chocolate" on your Facebook- why don't you post a link to charity or event that has true personal meaning to you.  Maybe it will actually led to a better understanding of the issue...

One Year Later...

To say I have been a bad blogger would be a lie.  I haven't even been a blogger.  I had these high hopes of documenting our lives with witty tidbits of info that happened through the years.  Several times I started to blog about the wedding, then the honeymoon, our first Christmas, Easter, yada yada yada...but alas- I was too lazy and other things were more important.  I'm not going to foolishly write that I plan to be better this year- start our second year of marriage off with a little tale (see our second year of marriage started off on Sunday- its already Thursday so clearly I would by lying to you and to myself).  But I will provide you with a small glimpse into what this first year was like...

Our wedded life together started off as all good lives should, with a kiss...

Then we proceeded on to a wonderful honeymoon in Alaska...

Before we knew it Christmas came and went...

and we added a new member to our family...

Life this past year was exactly as how it should have been- busy, mostly uneventful, but full of family and friends.  We celebrated our anniversary with a trip to the Melting Pot for me and a round of golf for Jim. 

This upcoming year promises to be a little more stressful.  A few potential employment changes in the works and praying for a medical miracle so that we can once more add a new member to our family (hopefully this one will look a little more like Jim and I and a little less like Cracker :-) ) will probably dominate our lives.  But no matter what I think it will be a good year.  Besides- we are starting out by heading to Ireland...that has to be the best kick-off for year 2 that any girl could ask for....

View from the deer stand....

Ok. So no view. Well at least no picture I can share. Doing this remotely. From the deer stand and it won't let me upload a picture.

I'm adding bad hunter to my bad blogger mantra. Like blogging I seem to be sporadic- and only when the guilt of all the other things I need to do doesn't overwhelm me and Jim is able to convince me to go spend all afternoon in a deer stand.

I do not comprehend this. My Daddy and brothers never spend HOURS of time in a stand or blind when they hunt. They go- they shoot- and they are home in time for supper. However my new family was raised to believe you should be in place HOURS before time to actually see deer.

So here I am. 2 hours before any deer will even venture my way, trying to amuse myself and not think of the tons of things that need to be done before I go to bed. Like laundry. Or dusting. But this allowing me to take the to update my long neglected blog that has suffered from my inattention.

So - what has happened since I last wrote? Hmmm- we got married ( yes I will blog on that ag some point. I promise) went on an amazing Alaskan honeymoon, had our first Thanksgiving and Christmas as a married couple and rebuilt the fence in the backyard. And no. I'm not pregnant yet, we are trying but God hadn't given us that one just yet. So we focus on Polly who turned 2 this week and had a great birthday party. In a nutshell it has been very busy but we are enjoying our lives very much. Well back to sitting and waiting and not thinking about that load of laundry I forgot to switch over.

Love- Mrs. Spratt

Ps. Forgive typos please. Half way through the iPhone stopped lettingme see where I typed